who dat who dat
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beatlesblaine:

the price of a popcorn and soda at target: $1.99

the price of a popcorn and soda at the movies: an entire month’s rent and your first born child

dulect:

could you please fill out this quick survey for me?

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original-plastic:

Homosexuality is unnatural! It says so in this book where snakes talk, people come back from the dead, a guy walks on water, and a virgin has a baby.

ppl who randomly message u on the tumble are the best kind of ppl even if they’re just bein all like ‘hello!’ because its like omg hi hello person wow someones talking to me this is the best day ever

moriarty-walks-free:

brigwife:

things you can do in the uk at 16 years of age

  • get married (with parental permission)
  • start a family
  • join the army where they use guns and bombs and shit
  • move out

things you can’t do in the uk at 16 years of age

  • buy a pair of scissors

are you serious

sluttylittlepill:

LITERAL QUEEN

potter-who-lock:

Andy you had one job

gnarly:

when the red light just turns green and somebody is already beepin at you

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lottiepots:

Where do I apply